phil_alden_2010

By Phillip T. Alden

I am a White male raised in a largely White community, although the San Francisco Peninsula has always been a very diverse place. I've seen plenty of racism, both subtle and gross. Until you reach a certain age, level of life experience, and/or spiritual maturity – whichever gives you greater insight – you don't see how much the "subtle stuff" gnaws away "unseen" and perpetuates the problem.

Speaking only for myself, I feel that getting to know people of other races, cultures and/or backgrounds is a life-long experience. I don't subscribe to that old declaration that started with; "Life is a classroom and you’re here to learn things." What I do believe is that we share an amazing planet and Universe, and the joy of watching the mystery unfold (hopefully) teaches me something more every day.

Since the election of Barack Obama I have seen and heard racist comments that used to get people shunned by those around them. One student friend who lives down in Florida says there were "multiple [White "Christian"] prayer meetings complete with gnashing of teeth and moaning," on the day Obama got elected. Right before the incredibly criminal George W. Bush Administration was about to start becoming a very bad memory – they left a "dog's dinner" for the Obama Administration in the form of an economy raped by their wealthy and powerful friends. And since Barack Obama's historic election I have never heard and seen such disrespect towards a U.S. President in my lifetime. They all took their shots as public figures, and some deserved more ridicule than others, but nothing matched the angry vitriol, the racist statements, and the questioning of his legitimacy to serve in the office.

A lot of this stuff, (not surprisingly,) came from the people Obama defeated, Sarah Palin and John McCain, and from former G.W. Bush Administration officials like Dick Cheney spouting their crap on Fox News.

There was a time when it would all make me very angry, and I still get angry sometimes. But most anger is a waste of emotion, so when I look at my country today the overwhelming feeling I have was one of terrible sadness. I do my best to ignore a mass media that has extremely little of value to offer. But I do read books, articles and essays by people I respect. When we were coming back from Brazil a couple of years ago, although most of me wanted to see home and our animal companions, family and friends, a part of me didn't want to come back to the anger and the hate and the incivility – not to mention a whole host of other problems facing our nation right now.

And one of our major problems, and a huge stumbling block that keeps us from starting to seriously address these problems together – is the divisiveness in this country. It's economic, it's cultural, and it's racial. The racial problem is likely the largest of these for many reasons, (not all of which I admit to understand fully.) I think one part of this multi-faceted problem is that we've finally reached a place where the current situation is untenable, and we don't know how to start and sustain a serious national conversation about race, drugs, prisons, judicial inequality and economic inequality. If we cannot talk and we've reached a point where the current situation is intolerable, from my understanding of history, then the situation will likely explode as it has so many times before.

And we all know that anger, hatred and violence solve nothing.

Aside from this essay, I tend to avoid writing, commenting, or engaging in discussions about race and racism. The main reason for this is personal experience. I once made a comment on a post about race written by a (self-identified) Black woman. Instead of a discussion, I was treated to insults and comments that blasted me and claimed I was "blinded by my Whiteness." (Her words, not mine.) Then another person identifying herself as a POC also decided to start in on me. Up until this time I had some respect for this (first) woman and read her essays on a regular basis. After that day of insults I stopped reading anything she wrote.

And that microcosm-experience is a small but important reason why nothing will change. As long as people are so wedded to their anger they will never engage in civilized discourse, even with people who agree with them. I still feel that racism (and sexism for that matter) are controlling this country, and I find such behavior distasteful and hateful. As a gay man I've experienced my share of hate simply for being who I am.

But people who shut down others when they don't agree with them, regardless of whether the discussion is about race, sex, politics, or any other "hot-button" subject – will find themselves preaching to the choir. And I'm not talking about a specific person. No matter how many thousands of words they write, or how many people they get to mindlessly agree with them – they will never get past their anger or move the conversation forward in forums that might bring about positive change.

One of the (very, very few) people in American mass-media that I really respect and admire is Jon Stewart, host of The Daily Show. Not because he's a very funny man who often skewers people, (like Rupert Murdoch or the Koch Brothers,) who desperately deserve it. I could love him for that alone.

But what amazes me about Stewart is his ability to have people who are blindly wedded to their stance on the show, and they way he engages them in such a peaceful and civilized manner. He shows them genuine respect and they return it. Then he usually (politely) "takes them to school" as the saying goes. And he does it with soft-spoken reason and humanity. Most of these people are used to hyperbolic statements and angry sound bites that they never get to use.

As hard as it is, we have to be tolerant and listen to other person, even if we disagree with them. In regards to race I do not mean that we have to listen to ignorant people spreading hateful words. Those people are pretty obvious and weed themselves out quickly.

But right now our country is more polarized than I have ever seen it in my 47 years on this planet. There is very little civilized discourse, I see little to no tolerance, and everyone is so tightly wedded to their beliefs they refuse to even hear opposing viewpoints.

And the hate. I'm not just talking about the guys who still dress up in white sheets and burn crosses. (Research Vidor, Texas, if you don't believe me.) It seems that everyone "hates" for often trivial reasons.

For example: I was walking my dog through our small complex the other evening and I passed a group of young people talking in front of one of the garages. I had my headphones on but my iPod was off so I could hear potential traffic. As I passed this group of young neighbors I had never met, I heard one of the girls say; "I hate that guy." She was looking right at me so there was little mistake about who she meant. As I don't know her I really don't care that much about whether she likes me or not. But the first thought to come into my head was; You don't even know me.

This is that lack of civility and tolerance I was referring to.

And the same goes with race, (or any other topic that people feel strongly about.) Aside from the KKK members in Vidor, we could start real discussions on race, the so-called "War On Drugs" that has really been a "War on Blacks, Latinos, The Poor," and any other marginalized group in this country. Our prisons are filled with Black men, women and children – most of whom are incarcerated for non-violent drug offenses. This is not what our prisons were designed for. Yet this wholesale warehousing of non-violent people has reached such a point that we compete with China, (a repressive dictatorship,) as "the world's #1 jailor." In California we spend more on prisons than we do on education.

We owe those non-violent (mostly People Of Color (POC)) Americans in every state who never hurt anyone, but are languishing in a prison cell anyway. We owe them a pardon and an expunged record. We owe them housing and income until they can be trained to re-enter the workforce. But most of all we owe them a sincere apology and new, truly just laws that will insure that this never happens again.

But I have very little confidence this will ever happen, (at least in my lifetime,) for a number of reasons. The only reason I wish to discuss here is the lack of constructive conversations that can bring about social justice and positive change for all of us, regardless of skin color. Those discussions will not happen in a toxic environment where one side accuses the other of "blindness" or ignorance, and the other side says, (in reaction;) "Okay. Fuck it. We'll just stick with the status quo."

Nobody wins. Nothing changes. And angry people keep preaching to the choir because they've alienated everyone else from the conversation.

I'm not going to agree with anyone automatically. Nobody has a corner on Truth. If you insult me I'll simply ignore you. Life is too short to deal with hostile people. For my part, I'm always willing to listen, until the speaker (writer) starts acting with hostility. Then I'm done. I have plenty of civilized, educated, smart friends (of many different colors and creeds) that I can talk to.

But that missed opportunity is truly sad, because it means that nothing will change for the better.